Help...part of my culture dictates that I should cut my hair after a year of mourning?

My family is multicultural and multidenominational. However, I embrace Christianity as my religion. I'm a good Christian..well that's another topic that I won't get into but I try to be..to the best of my ability. My maternal fam is African American and Irish. My paternal is African American and Native American.

My grandfather is a first generation Native and he embraces tribal customs and so did my father. My father passed away. Valentine's Day will mark one year. It is my grandfather's tribal custom that after a year of mouring the lost of a loved one you are to cut your hair as a symbolic freeing of that person so that they may pass to the after life with out any ties to this one. He expects me to participate.I have long waist length layered hair that I love and want to keep. He's not expecting a trim..he wants me to go chin length!!! What would you do? I don't want to hurt his feelings.

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Help...part of my culture dictates that I should cut my hair after a year of mourning?

If you embrace your grandfather's tribal customs I think you should do it. It is the right thing to do and your hair will grow back. If you do cut it I do not think you should donate it. Many tribal people believe that your hair is an extension of yourself, literally, and who knows what others might do to it. Tribal customs are not ones that you can pick and choose if you like them or not. They are what they are. You either follow them or you don't. It would be very respectful to both your grandfather and your father to cut your hair.

Help...part of my culture dictates that I should cut my hair after a year of mourning?

Hey, don't do somthing you don't feel comfortable doing. If you don't beilive in that, don't force yourself anything that puts your beilifs in jeopardy. http://www.goodpersontest.com/

Help...part of my culture dictates that I should cut my hair after a year of mourning?

You could do a good thing, and donate the hair to "Locks of Love" as a way to remember your dad and help someone who has no hair of their own to be as proud of as you are of yours.

Help...part of my culture dictates that I should cut my hair after a year of mourning?

Well, it's not going to help your father get into the afterlife, but so as not to offend your grandfather, cut your hair. It will grow back. And you might like it.

Help...part of my culture dictates that I should cut my hair after a year of mourning?

If you are a minor or a single female under his authority you should obey since it does not interfere with your faith.

If you are married, or have another male leader you are under you should submit to their/his decision.

Peters says a woman's obedience can lead others to Christ.

Help...part of my culture dictates that I should cut my hair after a year of mourning?

I do not believe we honor others by carrying out actions which are hollow in our belief structure. People who do that, in catholic sacramentals at least, are guilty of sacrilage and it's a slap in the face rather than a respect. Instead, you honor others by holding them in respect as regards YOUR faith in which you truly believe. Your grandfather would understand this and would be proud of you to honor him as best you believe.

Help...part of my culture dictates that I should cut my hair after a year of mourning?

Perhaps you can negotiate and agree to do it if it is cut to or below the shoulder.

Me personally...I have waist length hair that I can't wait to cut come this spring. Because it's getting to be a bit much (very thick) and starting to drive me crazy, but it's also been somewhat like a record of the well, length, of time that someone has been gone...and looking forward to ridding my hair of being symbolic of that. Going shoulder length as always so I have enough to donate to Locks of Love. Will be my third donation. Perhaps if you donate yours you might feel better about cutting it.

Help...part of my culture dictates that I should cut my hair after a year of mourning?

It was my raising up to believe its the MATERNAL parents' way to follow...your motheres mothers'way is the one... You should have cut your hair when your father died.. and yes. the cutting of hair is the sacrifice you make to promise to release the spirit and put on a huge feast in his honour... that should be done...IF your following INDIAN Traditions...if you were a shawnee practising today..just think YOU canna take a bath for a year! you must rub urself with the dirt and ashes of the earth and stay that way for a year...Also tell him that he has to GIVE away all of ur dads things..incherokee way..when the father or mother dies I beleive one has to give EVERYTHING away of the HOUSEHOLD everything! and walk away... thats the INDIAN way... give it all away...this is why we have posers and fakes tryna be indian but REFUSE to LIVE the part... they make up theyre own RULES...physical things are tooo good to give back and be happy... in death"because" we love those who leave us..and we sacrifice tons of ANYTHING for our loved ones..this is the real reason for give aways at powwows..